The "Oral History Interview" is a foundational Gottman assessment tool that is often used in the conjoint session but explores themes relevant to both partners' individual perspectives. It explores the couple's history, how they met, and the narrative of their relationship. Here are some key questions from the official Oral History Interview (for the joint session):
The Gottman Institute sells a digital assessment package for couples (the Gottman Relationship Checkup). This is a computerized version that covers the same ground as the individual interview.
The following questions are core components of the individual assessment phase, often used by therapists to identify "hot" areas of concern such as trauma, commitment levels, and personal goals. Core Individual Interview Questions
Do you have any history of substance use, addiction, or compulsive behaviors?
This specific set of questions is considered "hot" because it bypasses surface-level complaints ("He doesn't do the dishes") and drills into attachment wounds ("I feel abandoned when he ignores me"). That level of insight is highly sought after. gottman individual interview questions pdf hot
Gottman-trained therapists don't rely on intuition alone; they use a structured process built on decades of research to understand a couple's unique dynamics. This process can be broken down into three phases, each collecting different, vital pieces of information.
For a structured look at these assessments, professionals and couples often refer to:
"What was the emotional climate of your childhood home? Was affection shown openly, or was it reserved?"
Joint interview covering the couple's history, philosophy, and areas of conflict. The "Oral History Interview" is a foundational Gottman
If you can tell me (e.g., trust, intimacy, communication, or history), I can tailor my suggestions to help you prepare. Gottman Relationship Form For Couples PDF - Scribd
While the Gottman Method primarily focuses on the couple as a single system, the individual interview offers a private space for each partner. This session serves several critical purposes:
A word of caution: The individual interview's power relies on . Confidentiality means the therapist is not going to share verbatim what you say with your partner. As one source explains, "the therapist in Gottman Method Therapy [creates] a safe space for these private thoughts or feelings to be shared and explored, without judgment or blame". This confidentiality allows couples to ultimately build a deeper, more authentic connection.
If a partner reveals a major secret—such as an active affair or an intention to file for divorce—the therapist will work with that individual to help them disclose the information to their partner in a safe, constructive way. Traditional couples therapy cannot succeed if crucial, relationship-altering facts are hidden from one person. What to Expect Next: The Feedback Session This is a computerized version that covers the
If you want to emulate this process without the official (and licensed) tool, you can assemble what are known as the "Gottman Core Assessment Questionnaires". These are a series of historically significant paper-and-pencil tests that provide objective data on relationship satisfaction and stability. A "DIY" toolkit might include:
: Therapists often explore past relationship experiences and how they influence current dynamics.
"What are your personal goals and dreams? Does your partner support them?" "What brings you joy outside of this relationship?" Why These Questions Are "Hot" (Effective)